A pocket guide to the 23 most painful things in life, written by the most well-adjusted man in the universe.

Does it make you sad to be alive?

Boo-hoo. You're living all wrong.

My name is Andersen Prunty. I'm happiest while napping. I am a man with tennis shoes. They get older every time I put them on. This is how I deal with the pain of being alive. Now is our chance to deal with our pain together. You'll thank me later.